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Dad Jokes for Father’s Day

Tomorrow is Father's Day! Try one of these out on dear ole dad and be the ultimate faux-pa : )

 

  • "Have you heard about the chocolate record player? It sounds pretty sweet."

 

  • "The wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers."

 

  • "What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

 

  • "What did the baker say when they won an award? It was a piece of cake."

 

  • "Dad, I’m hungry." "Hi Hungry, I’m Dad."

 

  • "They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it’s poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important."

 

  • "Why did the cookie go to the doctor’s office? He was feeling crumby."

 

  • "What’s a circle’s favorite dessert? Pi!"

 

  • "Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up."

 

  • "Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"

 

  • "Why can’t cookie dough hold a steady job? Because it’s always getting baked."

 

  • "A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Sorry, we don't serve food here.'"

 

  • "I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."

 

  • "What did the two pieces of bread say on their wedding day? It was loaf at first sight."

 

  • "Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!"

 

  • "Where do you learn to make a banana split? Sundae school."

 

  • "How many apples grow on a tree? All of them!"

 

  • "Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth? It’s pasteurized before you even see it."

 

  • "I tried to start an online bakery but I accidentally deleted all of my cookies."